10222009
i think a lot about autism. i think people think that i’m weird because i talk about it so much. i’m so consumed with the whole disability, i even do voluntary research on it whenever i can find the time. well, actually, right now i should be writing a paper on how to teach math to children with autism, but i am procrastinating. so what else is new? i’m so done with school and classes; i could work doing what i’m doing now and feel a million times more successful and accomplished than i do when i get a good (or a bad) grade. isn’t that funny?
i feel so good that i found my path in life. every day that i spent working with children with autism reinforces my love and passion for it, for those children, for those guys who i care for so, so much.
i watched one of them suffer today. something was wrong, whether it is an earache or suspected bipolar disorder, it is something and he was turning all shades of red and purple screaming and squeezing and tensing. it ripped my heart out, it still is when i think about it. it’s in these moments that i realize how much i truly and completely care about him, even though i have only known him for about a month or so. i don’t really remember what it was like without him and the other guys in my life, and i really don’t care to remember either.
i guess this is all slightly creepy, but i just don’t care anymore. i’m a passionate person. i need to surround myself with passionate people. and i think i’ve done that to an extent. this is everything to me, and i love telling people about autism because i want to tell people how truly amazing my life is because these kids, these teachers, these wonderful and caring and kind human beings, are in it. my heart just explodes whenever i think/talk about it.
is this what falling in love feels like?
