08062009
when my mom and i made the trip to barnes and noble the other night i had a weird feeling. the weird feeling was appropriate because when i reached the section i wanted to look at, ashley was suddenly standing five feet away from me and i was panic stricken. after everything, i was frozen stiff not sure what the best plan of action was. after telling my mom that she was there, and walking around thinking about the best way to approach the situation, i decided that the best way was to just say hi, how are you. and i did. and we talked, and it was civil and nice and just the way we used to be. except not because of everything that has happened between the last time i talked to her and that moment. when we exchanged phone numbers and she said she wanted to make plans before i went back to school, it was a tempting thought to try and call her and make dinner plans. but when it all started to hit me later i realized that i am so happy with the way my life is right now, so happy with my friends and family, so happy with my job, just with everything. and if i let her back in, i am taking a big risk, one that i know in the end is simply not worth it. i could take the risk and text message her and see if she answers. but i don’t want the hurt anymore, and i know it would hurt if she didn’t answer. my life is good and i don’t want to screw it up by letting her back in to manipulate it. i’m done with people like her, like jenn, like allie, and like brady. i am where i belong.
tomorrow i’m leaving for long island for the night to 1) see my best friends janine, dan, and ali, and 2) to go to a jason mraz concert with them and sleepover ali’s house. or stay up and talk all night because i just absolutely adore them more than anything. next tuesday i’m going to wildwood with my mom, steven, my mom’s friend janet and her son anthony, like last year. i love wildwood, i love the beach, i love the boardwalk, so it should be fabulous…oh and there are pool bars all over the place, so that always makes for a good vacation.
my newest obsession - taylor swift. i know, i’m such a tween nerd, but i love her. and i usually hate country music but she’s just so fabulous that she breaks me of that hate. i stole both of her cd’s from kellie and just adore them. kellie gets to go see her in concert at the end of the month - i’m super jealous. but i’ll be in new paltz so really, i’ll be beyond thrilled anyway.
